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 The New Life [Introduction]

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PostSubject: The New Life [Introduction]   The New Life [Introduction] Icon_minitimeSun Jul 31, 2011 12:50 am

I'm making a story.. Razz It's called The New Life! Here's the introduction.. [;

"Kruz, let's get out of here!" I called to my brother, who was 22 months younger than me. We were stuck in the basement, with no one else. I had accidentally locked us here, getting $28 from our 'money department'. "We can't.. you locked us in here!" Kruz yelled. "Well.. sorry!" I said with a little bit of sarcasm. Then I had a great idea. "Why don't we call mom?" I asked. "I don't know her phone number.." Kruz answered. "I do!" I said excitedly, and grabbed my phone from my pocket. I dialed Mom's phone number. It was ringing. I smiled. "Wait.. why do you need money anyways?" "Shh.. - Hi Mom!" "I'm a little busy, working here," Mom replied. "I know," I started, but then I heard no noise. Mom had hung up on me. I sigh. "She hung up.." "This is all your fault! If you hadn't gotten me in this the first place..-" "JUST SHUT UP!!" I screamed. Then it was 'Uh-Oh'. He started crying. What had I done? What am I doing.. he is the cutest boy in our school! All the girls had a crush on him. And here I am, lucky to be his sister, and telling him to Shut Up. "Now everyone will hate me.." I muttered. "Kruz are you okay?!" "Leave me alone!" he was in the corner, sobbing, because of his big sister. Then, there was a knock on the basement. A loud one. We did not dare move. There it was again. "Who i-i-is it?" I said, my voice shaky.

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SuLin

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PostSubject: Re: The New Life [Introduction]   The New Life [Introduction] Icon_minitimeSun Jul 31, 2011 1:17 am

Nice story! can't wait for more
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PostSubject: Re: The New Life [Introduction]   The New Life [Introduction] Icon_minitimeSun Jul 31, 2011 11:29 am

Haha, thanks, I was having trouble writing Chapter 1, because I did too many mystery and all. x3

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SuLin

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PostSubject: Re: The New Life [Introduction]   The New Life [Introduction] Icon_minitimeSun Jul 31, 2011 12:41 pm

It was really good and you did it just right, hanging it with a cliffhanger!
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Brooke

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PostSubject: Re: The New Life [Introduction]   The New Life [Introduction] Icon_minitimeMon Aug 01, 2011 9:10 pm

great job on your amazing story!
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